Review? Rant? Who knows?

FB2: The Crimes Against Canon

I put my hands up. I went to see Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (FB2 from here on out) on opening weekend. Opening weekend. Which goes right into the box office opening weekend figures. Contributing to the success of a film, that tends to get compared.

Maybe a better reviewer might have provided you with the figures here, but that isn’t the point I wish to make. A part of me does not want to know how financially successful it was either, alleviate the guilt (I’ll get into this). Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 40%.

So, some context. Growing up, I was an obsessed Harry Potter fan, a Potterhead, if you will. It won’t take much for me to blindly buy the next Potter merch, book or whatever the heck else Penny’s is retailing. Waling into a bookstore is like walking into the bloody Hogwarts library all of the time, some new book on something I’ve never heard of.

I think the first stab in the hypothetical back was Cursed Child. I call this canon gaslighting. There is definitely a better name for this concept, but let’s use this for now.

We’re raised to believe a lot of things about the Wizarding World, don’t you forget – we roamed the halls of Hogwarts with Harry and his gang. We’re told the sky is blue, and everything in the Cursed Child was nothing but a bad fanfic.

Except in real life, the Cursed Child was a CANON play, all the whacky things that happened in it was REAL.

But hey, people make lapses in judgement. Maybe JKR is running out of money. No big deal.

We feel like bad fans. I can’t hop on every bandwagon. It’s a little bit exhausting. Instead, there’s the guilt that maybe it’s just me who can’t expand and allow JKR to open up the world she invented. She definitely has the right to. As put beautifully in an article by Selina Wilken, longstanding Potterhead (do read the full thing, it’s timeless);

”If someone gave you a painting and you loved it, you wouldn’t let the artist take it back five years later to make alterations, right? So why should I let Jo do it with the story she gave me, the complete work of art that framed my childhood? It’s already perfect, and it’s mine. She gave it to me, and I’m not giving it back.”

But hey, people make miscalculations. She definitely is running out of money, we can assume.

Fantastic Beasts and all of it’s New Wizarding World has just redeveloped the whole framework. The frustrating thing is this movie is set before Harry and his chums were about, so surely it should make sense and match up to the timeline we all know so well.

Not to spoil you, but can someone explain how x is in the movie when they shouldn’t even be born yet, or why the properties of y spell are suddenly different? There’s lists on lists on the questions and inconsistencies all over the net, like here and here.

What’s tragic and alienating is this – as Jo has done in the past, she will come out tomorrow and tell us how *insert inconsistency here* is actually indeed canon, and what we knew previously, oh, you didn’t understand the nuances there. Much like a certain someone we know, somehow her Twitter has become the #1 Harry Potter Site (move over Mugglenet!)

I can’t keep up. Maybe I’m too old to keep up. Maybe I’ve too much of life to live outside of the Wizarding World, I’m done roaming the streets of Diagon Alley, exploring the caves of Hogwarts or indeed, finding another Fantastic Beast. Jo, if you read this – not a critism, but please do not work to provide for your ever-so-loyal Potter fanbase. Create a new world that does not require any knowledge of the Potter story. Maybe a Wizarding World story but about a kid growing up in the American Wizarding World scene, I dunno. Something that doesn’t throw beloved characters like Dumbledore around, still to be used to serve a plot we don’t seem to need.

Miss me with that BS.

And yet, just know, I’ll be at the opening weekend viewing for the third film, when it does rear its beastly head. If not for Eddie Redmayne.


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